I CALL IT HOLLAND! AND I AM FROM HOLLAND SO!
YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.
please read this whole thing.
mark owen’s smile appreciation post
you may think harry styles is perfect and that he dreams in cartoons and shits golden bricks and has birds curl his hair for him every morning while he sings a happy little working song but you my friend are completely right he also hung the moon
Jason Orange - quotes
‘cause we’re just stars | [♬]
if someone ever calls u a mean name just respond “nah” like how do you even respond to that realistically
some person: hey asstown
i think my favourite part about this post is that out of all the mean names someone could realistically call you, they chose “asstown”
chelsea fc / moodboard
inspo & template - x
Gary Barlow - quotes (part 3)
today i found out that apparently if you kill someone in international waters on an unregistered boat then throw the body overboard they can’t trace it back to any one legal system so you can’t be prosecuted for their murder
so what did you do today
the URL makes it so much better
Western Zodiac: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces
Chinese Zodiac: Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Sheep, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, Pig
Celtic Zodiac [x]: Birch (the Achiever), Rowan (the Thinker), Ash (the Enchanter), Alder (the Trailblazer), Willow (the Observer), Hawthorne (the Illusionist), Oak (the Stabilizer), Holly (the Ruler), Hazel (the Knower), Vine (the Equalizer), Ivy (the Survivor), Reed (the Inquisitor), Elder (the Seeker)
Myers-Briggs [x]: ISTJ, ISFJ, INFJ, INTJ, ISTP, ISFP, INFP, INTP, ESTP, ESFP, ENFP, ENFJ, ESFJ, ESTJ, ESFJ, ENFJ, ENTJ, ENTP
The Four Temperaments [x]: Melancholic, Phlegmatic, Choleric, Sanguine
Enneagram [x]: Type 1, Type 2, Type 3, Type 4, Type 5, Type 6, Type 7, Type 8, Type 9
Soul type [x]: Sage, Server, Scholar, King, Artisan, Priest, Warrior
Hogwarts House [x]: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, Slytherin